The move will be incredibly difficult. I love London and think it’s pretty much the best city there is. Also, moving back to the States is not something I had planned on doing for many years to come-I always fear that once I’m there I’ll never be able to leave again. But the job hunt is proving to not be going all that smoothly. Yes I’ve had interviews but I always seem to be reminded that though I do hold British citizenship and have British family, I am just not British enough. I’ve made some great friends here and have gotten involved in fun activities and I’m not quite sure how I’m going to cope with giving it all up.
However, if I stay in London I must also stay at my parents’ house until I find a job. Don’t get me wrong, I love my parents, but I’ve been here for over a year and a half and I am going a bit crazy. It’s nice having the security of having somewhere to come home to, to have fresh food every day, and have people that love me around, but at this point it’s become all too easy to develop bad habits and settle into the lackluster routines of being unemployed. If I’m on my own, I’ll have to push myself harder to find a job because that security will no longer be available.
If I’m going to venture out on my own and try something new it might as well be somewhere I love. Although I have spent a fair bit of time there over the last couple of years, it’s still relatively new and exciting to me. I’ll be able to go wine tasting, learn how to sail, eat burritos every day, get into trouble with some of my best friends from all walks of life, and will have a much easier time visiting my American friends and family. My recent realization that I do, in fact, like American literature is making this all a bit easier. After a bit of time away, I think I may finally be ready to go back-not necessarily for good, but at least for now.
21 days remain until the big move. I plan to see as much of London as possible over the three weeks and to hopefully not freak myself out over all I have to get done!